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| Gym tonight :D
First time in ages!
Ive eaten 144 calories for breakfast, and i plan 300 for dinner, then i'll burn it all off :D
I think im just going to hit the treadmill, maybe cross trainer, bikes and abit of rowing.
Im gonig with someone i haven't been with before, so im not sure of her gym routine, but im willing to adapt mine, as a different routine will get my muscles working differentlyy.
My tummy is starting to look flatter the majority of the time now, after ive eaten it obviously bloats up, but on a morning its starting to look better despite having eaten the night before.
I had a strange dream last night, i was telling some girl that had an ED, that i believed that no matter how much i ate, and how much i didn't exercise etc, that ana would save me and make me thin eventually, no matter what i did in the opposite direction, that she'd come and save me from it at some time in my life. Weird aha.
Why when brown bread is meant to be good for you, does it have more calories than normal white bread :| im fuming. I told my mam id only eat brown bread cause i thought it was better, but its going to make me fatter :|:|:|.
I keep listening to thinspo songs when im home alone during the day, even though i find it weirdly depressing aha, but i totally keep singing them to myself when theres people around :/ i need to get out of the habbit of doing it or im going to get myself alot of questions to answer aha. - Mood:bored
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| Lmao yesterday was the worst ive ever felt in my life :') too much alchol + a packet of pro plus = never again lmao.
Haven't eaten much today, but im gonig to pizza hut later :/ but im sure i can get away with not much.
Yesterday i told my mam i was just feeling under the weather, instead of completely hungover aha, but she was telling me it'll be because im not eating properly etc etc 8-), so she's decided she's making me salad boxes to take to work. so your saying im fat then yeah. But i guess id prefere that to her forcing bread or pasta on me constantly.
My Hollywood diet didn't exactly go to plan aha, i couldn't really bring myself to drink the drink alot of the time, so i pretty much replaced it with a water fast. My tummy seems alot flatter, and my hip bones are becoming visable again. My collar bones were more visable last week than they are now, but im not really sure why.
Im back in a size 6 whoop, whoop.
Why is your tummy always completely flat the day after drinking? surely it should be fat after all the excess calories consumed? This always makes me think aha.
x - Mood:peaceful
 - Music:falling for you - busted.
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| My tummy was fllaaaaaat when i woke up this morning :)
My hollywood diet drink is sickkk but im keeping going aha
Went shopping today, a size 8 was too big :D:D:D:D had to order a size 6 in ;) Fitting back in the size only took a few days of hardly eating haha, didn't even need as much effort as i plan to put in for the next size droppp! :)
x - Mood:happy
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| I just made my hollywood diet drink for the next four days worth of meals, and its fucking sick lmao :')
It doesn't actually taste that bad, but its foamy as fuck!
I better get used to it though cause its all im consuming till the end of the weeeek!
x - Mood:amused
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| Im so hungryy, i haven't felt hunger like this in ages. Ive got some grapes but i can't bring myself to eat them. My hollywood diet plan has been put back a day due to tesco shutting early on a sunday |:. All my work plans have been ruined due to there being no surveys for extra shifts. So it hasn't been the best start to the week really!
Im contemplating eating properly today *-) kick start my metablorism for the start of the week, then just hollywood diet for the rest of the week till friday.
Hmm.
Im going to watch the hills all day :)
x - Mood:content
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| It pisses me off that anorexic queen's moderation queue is alwayssss full :| - Mood:angry
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| Monday: Hollywood diet (juice of 4 oranges, juice of 2 lemons, 2tbls of honey, 1 banana peeled + sliced, 1 apple peeled + sliced, 1 cup of grape juice, then add 1 litre of water).
Tuesday: Hollywood diet during the day, but my mam will probably force a meal upon me on the night, so im going to claim im following the Raw Food diet and just have a salad.
Wednesday: Hollywood diet.
Thursday: Hollywood diet.
Friday:Fast during the day, raw food diet meal on the night, the i'll be drinking when im out.
I hope this does some good. x - Mood:hopeful
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| Yesterday went well, managed not to eat anything after breakfast. But when i woke up this morning my tummy wasn't even much flatter so whats the fucking point. I just didn't eat breakfast either this morning, and went on a two hour walk, so thats gotta be good, but i just consumed 180cals worth of soup that i didn't even need. I don't know whats gonig on with my head at the moment, one minute im totally in a 'i never need toe at again, i can do it' mood, then the next im just like screw it. I need to sort myself out i thinkk.
x - Mood:confused
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| My shift at work just got cancelled for this afternoon |: but i think im going to use the time to do abit of research and catch up on some thinspro :) and it means i can skip dinner and tea without anyone seeing, so i guess its not bad :).
I go on holiday in 51 days, thats like 7 weeks :| which means i need to work alot harder. This week im cutting down gradually, although it seems to have gone back to just eat as little as possible.
But next week i think im gonig to try the grape diet, which is just eating grapes and water, as much of each as you like, but nothing else. Its abit like a detox i guess, but i hope it works. And im at work 10 till 8:30 every day next week, so it shouldn't be too hard to hide from my parents!
I just made a good thinspration playlist on youtube; http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=X1_Zl8qhLxg&feature=PlayList&p=77BC429F6FF2CF25&index=0&playnext=1
This should keep me going for the rest of the day!
x - Mood:content
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| Eurgh i feel so full. Ive eaten almost two whole meals today :|.
But i discovered that if i down a cup of coffee before tea, i feel too sick to eat much, but i also feel sick for the rest of the night, but at least i wont be tempted to munch on anything.
I go on holiday in nine weeks :| thats all the time i have to sort my body completely :| idk where times gone. Im going to have to start being more dedicated. Its been alright recently, ive been eating one meal a day, and my coller bones are sticking out more and more these days. But my hip bones are no where near what they used to be, and my hips themselves are just fatfatfatfat. But im trying to sort it with regular gym visits; although they've been lacking this week :/ so im going to have to work extra hard next week!
x - Mood:content
- Music:Madina lake - here i stand
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thinkthintowin's journal